The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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