that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize