Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found puke in my bra..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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