he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
we're so committed to being not committed
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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