I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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