So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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