HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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