Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
