Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
