hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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