found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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