Someone shit on the floor
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
