i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
