Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
