idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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