the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
