am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
