So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
