I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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