I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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