I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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