Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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