I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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