she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
