Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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