did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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