My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dick very happy bro
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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