its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize