Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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