i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
