did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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