some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
