those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
