is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
