I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
