I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
