your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
