dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
