i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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