And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
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I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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