I think about you every night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?