Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know you.

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  (570): So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas. (330): I don't know you. http://tfl.nu/3wzi
  Replies (8) Good night (898) Bad night (2587)
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  (925): View more from California

  and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

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  (925): and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know. http://tfl.nu/ctra
  Replies (21) Good night (4509) Bad night (1306)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.

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  (217): I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage. http://tfl.nu/wgul
  Replies (31) Good night (1266) Bad night (3843)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

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  (201): normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek. http://tfl.nu/tra5
  Replies (20) Good night (5626) Bad night (1175)
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  (914): View more from New York

  does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?

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  (914): does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up? http://tfl.nu/cmpo
  Replies (30) Good night (2983) Bad night (3606)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?

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  (734): Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill? http://tfl.nu/7ius
  Replies (1) Good night (2568) Bad night (1296)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.

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  (309): You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed. http://tfl.nu/qkqo
  Replies (2) Good night (1736) Bad night (423)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?

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  (917): it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome (1-917): second-hand sex is fun, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/9p74
  Replies (16) Good night (1709) Bad night (665)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.

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  (734): I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play. http://tfl.nu/5k4o
  Replies (6) Good night (1261) Bad night (514)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life

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  (937): Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life http://tfl.nu/0ubb
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (747)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.

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  (208): I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise. http://tfl.nu/iv1d
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (308)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

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  (773): And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad. (1-773): That's my new pick up line call me a polish name http://tfl.nu/jbx5
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (367)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"

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  (248): Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum" http://tfl.nu/5h4q
  Replies (5) Good night (655) Bad night (351)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.

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  (817): No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5k9
  Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (594)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.

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  (337): Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again. http://tfl.nu/azre
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (472)

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