Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?

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(620): How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline? http://tfl.nu/r7ot

Replies (16) Good night (7247) Bad night (782)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

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(201): I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside. http://tfl.nu/y1e3

Replies (8) Good night (4806) Bad night (832)
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(607): View more from New York

We can grow old together and our livers can fail together

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(607): We can grow old together and our livers can fail together http://tfl.nu/ku07

Replies (9) Good night (4362) Bad night (1235)
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(253): View more from Washington

The pine trees are waving at me.

(907): View more from Alaska

Put the pipe down honey.

(253): View more from Washington

Hi trees.

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(253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23

Replies (17) Good night (8140) Bad night (1668)
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(305): View more from Florida

Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested

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(305): Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested http://tfl.nu/egzq

Replies (14) Good night (1990) Bad night (776)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything

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(412): And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything http://tfl.nu/uj6p

Replies (8) Good night (2295) Bad night (611)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

(304): View more from West Virginia

No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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(304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8

Replies (15) Good night (6441) Bad night (910)
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(310): View more from California

Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.

(310): View more from California

Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.

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(310): Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures. (310): Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW. http://tfl.nu/xwjs

Replies (12) Good night (2422) Bad night (1074)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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(513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8

Replies (11) Good night (1887) Bad night (494)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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(802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9

Replies (4) Good night (586) Bad night (700)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.

(601): View more from Mississippi

Circle of life?

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(228): Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life. (601): Circle of life? http://tfl.nu/blw3

Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (903)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.

(609): View more from New Jersey

We won Spring Training 2013.

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(609): We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them. (609): We won Spring Training 2013. http://tfl.nu/awkc

Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (224)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.

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(423): I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay. http://tfl.nu/or95

Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (190)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.

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(412): i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/djs5

Replies (20) Good night (1285) Bad night (502)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.

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(505): I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that. http://tfl.nu/93tp

Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (248)

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