Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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(603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi

Replies (15) Good night (4655) Bad night (516)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth

(248): View more from Michigan

Sounds like a blessing in disguise

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(734): I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth (248): Sounds like a blessing in disguise http://tfl.nu/a82v

Replies (13) Good night (2589) Bad night (906)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.

(803): View more from South Carolina

kinda like you and your friends.

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(931): dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny. (803): kinda like you and your friends. http://tfl.nu/yef0

Replies (14) Good night (724) Bad night (2251)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"

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(404): Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis" http://tfl.nu/144a

Replies (14) Good night (2831) Bad night (753)
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(619): View more from California

It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.

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(619): It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car. http://tfl.nu/xdru

Replies (3) Good night (2882) Bad night (793)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

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(662): As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/d15a

Replies (15) Good night (2308) Bad night (845)
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(206): View more from Washington

All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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(206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk

Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (804)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.

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(307): I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit. http://tfl.nu/1gr7

Replies (8) Good night (401) Bad night (1151)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Why does my jaw hurt?

(402): View more from Nebraska

I may have punched you.

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(303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g

Replies (8) Good night (1762) Bad night (492)
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(925): View more from California

But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....

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(925): But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age..... http://tfl.nu/e96s

Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (536)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.

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(337): She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last. http://tfl.nu/3f1e

Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (251)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?

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(404): I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man? http://tfl.nu/kmsm

Replies (12) Good night (317) Bad night (788)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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(410): Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men" http://tfl.nu/o2lw

Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (319)
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(817): View more from Texas

Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.

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(817): Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse. http://tfl.nu/j30i

Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (280)
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(510): View more from California

Naked. naked and bneed help.

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(510): Naked. naked and bneed help. http://tfl.nu/5da4

Replies (1) Good night (214) Bad night (299)

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