And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
