I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way