And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.