Texts From Last Night

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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I think i sorta joined a cult last night

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  (308): I think i sorta joined a cult last night http://tfl.nu/1gad
  Replies (6) Good night (2063) Bad night (1439)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away

  (440): View more from Ohio

  isn't bella the cat???

  (216): View more from Ohio

  that she is

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  (216): bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away (440): isn't bella the cat??? (216): that she is http://tfl.nu/l83t
  Replies (9) Good night (3090) Bad night (1233)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  so you're single again?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  yea but it was worth it

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  (334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face (1-334): so you're single again? (334): yea but it was worth it http://tfl.nu/2tzr
  Replies (46) Good night (5152) Bad night (1169)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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  (706): yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning http://tfl.nu/1trw
  Replies (38) Good night (1274) Bad night (7961)
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  (858): View more from California

  Life is so much better after having sex.

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  (858): Life is so much better after having sex. http://tfl.nu/blju
  Replies (39) Good night (11408) Bad night (886)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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  (781): So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets. http://tfl.nu/zt9l
  Replies (12) Good night (647) Bad night (4948)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Im watching someone hooking up in the library

  (970): View more from Colorado

  procrastination at its finest

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  (307): Im watching someone hooking up in the library (970): procrastination at its finest http://tfl.nu/d7sa
  Replies (19) Good night (6324) Bad night (878)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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  (219): she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade. http://tfl.nu/8ipj
  Replies (11) Good night (3521) Bad night (1607)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.

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  (682): Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight. http://tfl.nu/gbse
  Replies (5) Good night (2655) Bad night (1173)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator

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  (505): I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator http://tfl.nu/t25w
  Replies (12) Good night (940) Bad night (2598)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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  (580): Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/95e7
  Replies (4) Good night (1656) Bad night (534)
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  (916): View more from California

  I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.

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  (916): I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask. http://tfl.nu/oc5v
  Replies (7) Good night (1132) Bad night (641)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

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  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (646)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was the birthday sex?

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.

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  (610): How was the birthday sex? (1-610): Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs. http://tfl.nu/8fjx
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (2226)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.

  (214): View more from Texas

  You need to calm down.

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  (254): It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time. (214): You need to calm down. http://tfl.nu/qlou
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (406)

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