when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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