Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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