is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
