i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you traded sex for a burrito?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
