i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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