Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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