who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
