oh god the rape fog is back!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
