Plan B is the new Plan A
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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