Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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