We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
