I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize