You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
third nipple confirmed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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