first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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