his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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