Have you finally orgasmed yet?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
