My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
