He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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