I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
