I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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