any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
