We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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