brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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