Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
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