he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i will never coherently bang her
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
