Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
