Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
