You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
