its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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