Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
